Badger's Lair (badgerthorazine) wrote,
Badger's Lair
badgerthorazine

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

  • Mood:

bit of a ramble...

I'd quite frankly ljcut some of this if I had anything resembling a brain left at the moment. Forgive me for not doing it.

The Important Things to Remember with Regards to Grief and Depression::
-Sleep, eat, keep in contact with friends, use telephone extensively, or whatever works, as temporary anti-depressant.
-It's okay and understandable to be depressed. Sleep whenever, eat whatever whenever, and do the best to keep to whatever resembles a normal routine.
-Don't beat yourself up if you aren't sufficiently cheerful to the world around you. The world can, temporarily, go hang.
-Try not to be inconsiderate of others who may be in a similar state to yourself. That said, most people are more patient than they might seem to be at first glance.
-Staying in a cocoon of safety is fine for a while, but get out and interact occasionally...you may be pissed off at others apparent shallowness, but try not to get into any knock-down drag-out fights, either physical or verbal.

(as you might have guessed by now, I've dealt with this several dozen times before, although not usually twice in the same month.)

Selfish section:
I want someone to bring me chinese food, hug me a lot, make sure I get into and out of the bubblebath safely, and change the sheets on the bed. This, of course, is one of many things that won't happen, but I still want it to. :P Washing my new CPAP mask and such would be nice, but not required. Replacing most of my body with something that functions normally would be wonderful, but I know we don't have that technology as of yet.

My depression and anxiety have gotten bad enough that I nearly gave myself a panic attack over when I should go to the bathroom. This is Not Good (tm) OTOH, I did talk to the doc on the night shift at the primary doc's office, she said I could just up the dose of my trazodone slightly and see if it helped. At any rate, it's a start. I'm jumpy, traumatized, and feeling terrifically ugly both in mind and body.

This too, is normal, unfortunately. I'll get over it eventually. (Well, except for the food craving and the hug craving. I nearly always have those. ;-) My left hand and wrist now hate me even more viciously...so I'm going to watch something on the computer and then go THUNK. Probably be up a bit longer, and certainly interruptable.
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  • 11 comments

  • (no subject)

    Looking for bed space at Readercon, as well as possibly a ride home. I have a CPAP, so I'd need to be near an electrical socket of some ilk. I can…

  • Gah!

    Does anyone have a 32inch TV we could use? I asked via Posterous, but I can't even get at the original post from here for some reason... I got Jeremy…

  • Distracted yearnings

    Finding myself wanting to travel, but know the cost of a rental car is ludicrous. A certain desire for being in control is beginning to really bug…